Archive for November, 2007

Dating Culture and Religion

One of the reasons dating is often difficult, is that by dating, you are inviting a person into your life, with the intent of developing a relationship where this person will influence you and the choices in life you make. This can be a good thing, it can also be a bad thing.

It is a good thing when the person you date, and then develop a relationship with, helps you make decisions in life that make you a better person in your own eyes. More often than not, it is a bad thing when the person you are forming a relationship with, tries to make you a better person in their eyes, with little or no regard to what you want out of life.

Culture and religion can play a big part of this, especially if your date has strong beliefs or tendancies along either of these lines. The reason why culture and religion can play a big part in this is because the rules of both tend to be strict (to varying degrees) with little or no room for compromise.

Removing the space for compromise is always counter-productive in the development of a relationship. Compromise and understanding will always be two of the top requirements in the development of any successful relationship.

But having said that, we are not saying religious or cultural beliefs in you or a potential partner are bad, or good. In fact we are not even saying they will inhibit or help the development of your relationship. Rather, we are saying, depending on the people involved, they can do either.

For example, if you are asian, and/or deeply committed to developing as a person with the ideals of asian culture, it is probably a very good idea to develop a relationship with a like minded person. We have listed a number of top Asian Dating Sites here if you would like to find and date such people:

However, if you are not particularly interested in asian people or culture, it could be difficult to develop such a relationship without understanding or compromise, so we would recommend not using these sites.

Similarly with religion, a devout person of Christian or Jewish faith could be a much better person having a partner of similar faith, helping and supporting them through the matters of conscience particular to those religions. Similar beliefs in matters of sexuality also help in setting boundaries in the early stages of relationships in these cases. This is why religious dating sites also exist, here is our review of some Christian Dating Sites and some Jewish Dating Sites.

On the other hand, forming a relationship with religious people, without having any understanding of their faith is always going to bring unique challenges not experienced in other relationships.

It is important to understand that what we have said in this article is not a set of rules, rather some food for thought. Many inter-religion and inter-cultural relationships exist and form every single day and are completely successful. These relationships are successful due to understanding and compromise the partners have of and with each other, just like any other relationship.

We hope this gives you something to think about

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Dating For Free

Dating can be quite an expensive experience if care is not taken. To start with, it often costs you money just to put yourself in a situation where you can meet people. Joining a club or interest group, going to a bar, signing up to an online dating site, it all costs money. Then, once you have met someone, no matter what you do or where you take them, someone ends up paying. This can be an inhibitor to dating for many people, so we have written this article to give you ideas on how you can organising a “cheap date” that isn’t necessarily a bad date.

Where to meet people for free

One of the best pieces of advice you can take on board if you want to meet people, is to make it a part of your life. Yes we know, its often hard to say “Hi” to someone you don’t know, when there is no natural impetus to communication. That’s why its called an ice breaker, it is difficult. But this is also why making meeting people a part of your life is such a great piece of advice. Its difficult at the start, but once you get going it gets easier and easier to do.

So when you get out of bed tomorrow, make a point of chatting to people you usually wouldn’t have. Become a conversationalist. Just make it up as you go along. Talk to everyone though, don’t be picky. If you talk to everyone, you’ll have so much practise ice breaking and being a conversationalist, that when you see someone you are interested in dating, it will be very easy to start up a conversation with them, that is natural and free flowing, which hopefully will lead into a follow up conversation at a future place in time.

Meeting people in this way is totally free. The following bullet points are a few examples of the types of opportunities we are talking about.

• On the bus or train
• As you walk your dog
• In the supermarket
• The person having a coffee at the next table in a cafe
• When you are in a queue for anything

Where to take your date

Once you have met someone and have agreed to see them again, your options on where to take someone are virually limitless. Most of the dates which cost money are “old hat” anyway, so often a cheaper alternative stands out and is much more successful. A great example of this was in the movie Josh Hartnett stared in called 40 days and 40 nights. In this movie, he simply took a girl (the girl whose heart he ended up winning (played by Shannyn Sossamon)) on a bus ride. That was his idea of the perfect first date. If you haven’t seen the movie, get a copy if for no other reason than to see how successful this date was.

So the simple idea with organising a cheap, successful date is to use your imagination. Here are some starters to whet your appetite.

• A DVD movie marathon – you both bring a DVD or two over and cuddle up on a couch all night watching them.
• Go window shopping; pet shops, antique shops, luxury cars and boats can be great opportunities for interesting days out. Just leave your credit card at home.
• Go back to your childhood and do something you loved to, like play on the swings in a park.
• Exercise options; go for a walk at the beach, a ride in the hills, a rollerblade anywhere
• Make the journey the date – the bus idea above is a great example of this. But you can plan a whole day based on the travel experience, incorporating public transport, bikes, walking, anything, and the destination isn’t really important…(or could lead into the next date)
• Combine some of the above ideas

All a free date requires is some imagination, and some planning. We hope we have given you a few ideas to play with or develop. Good luck, and remember to have fun, and be yourself, no matter where you take your date.

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